I am grateful for a mind which has been taught the benefits of a humbling experience. I am grateful for a husband who is willing to share things which could strengthen our marriage even though I miss his train of thought and don't catch on until later. I am grateful to have practiced how to translate my whirlwind of emotions into core need "I feel" statements and how that helps me to empathize when I hear someone else trying to process a whirlwind of emotions and then translate their words into those same statements. (It almost teaches me more than I learned as an Intern Therapist to practice that skill at home.) I am grateful to understand.
I am grateful for the opportunity to practice saying the words "I'm sorry." It is a good habit, and one of the marks of a refined woman or man. I am grateful for a husband who takes the lead in modeling that refined habit. I am grateful to live in a home where forgiveness is a primary goal, and our undercurrent of care and affection pervades over the little hurts that come with growing together. I am grateful for the Holy Spirit which speaks truth to my heart and helps me to understand how peace can be made or accepted. I am grateful for things to be grateful for even when daily life is more simple.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
the Resurrection
I have a pretty sweet situation at church. In the last 8 months, my husband and I have successfully been orchestrating a young couples' Sunday school separate from the 80 person lecture that is offered downstairs. Not to put them down, which I have the bad habit of doing repeatedly, the two teachers down there have a lot of knowledge and put a lot of time and effort into their lessons. Other than the fact that that teaching method just really isn't my style, the new couples which move into the ward have no way to get to know people in that mass of bodies with no conversation. And then they stop coming... which ends the option of getting to know people at church.
My husband and I started suggesting the idea for a separate Sunday school class last fall, and the suggestion was accepted with support. Other than being grateful for that support, or a group of church leaders who are willing to give it a try, for the fact that it has gone on for so long with a fair amount of success, and that the young couples (age 19-35) who attend are more than happy to converse and participate, I am grateful that last week it was my turn to teach.
We talked about the resurrection. The lesson covered Luke 24, and supplemented with several other Gospel insights, but we spent the entire time discussing the questions "What is resurrection? Why is it a blessing?" (those two questions alone made for great discussion for the first 15 minutes) "How does the resurrection and the atonement support you in your challenges and grief in daily life? How do you follow the example of Mary and look away from the empty tomb to the Savior? What personal experiences have you had to let you know that Christ lives?"
It was amazing. Everything a group of Christian worshipers coming together should be. I am grateful I was there. I am grateful to have learned skills in my life to motivate introspective discussion. I am grateful to have been inspired by the Holy Spirit in my lesson planning and during the follow through. I am grateful for the confidence the Holy Spirit's companionship offers me. I am grateful for amazing lesson plan guides offered by the Church. I am grateful for the 15 people who were there with me who came ready to share. It was wonderful.
My husband and I started suggesting the idea for a separate Sunday school class last fall, and the suggestion was accepted with support. Other than being grateful for that support, or a group of church leaders who are willing to give it a try, for the fact that it has gone on for so long with a fair amount of success, and that the young couples (age 19-35) who attend are more than happy to converse and participate, I am grateful that last week it was my turn to teach.
We talked about the resurrection. The lesson covered Luke 24, and supplemented with several other Gospel insights, but we spent the entire time discussing the questions "What is resurrection? Why is it a blessing?" (those two questions alone made for great discussion for the first 15 minutes) "How does the resurrection and the atonement support you in your challenges and grief in daily life? How do you follow the example of Mary and look away from the empty tomb to the Savior? What personal experiences have you had to let you know that Christ lives?"
It was amazing. Everything a group of Christian worshipers coming together should be. I am grateful I was there. I am grateful to have learned skills in my life to motivate introspective discussion. I am grateful to have been inspired by the Holy Spirit in my lesson planning and during the follow through. I am grateful for the confidence the Holy Spirit's companionship offers me. I am grateful for amazing lesson plan guides offered by the Church. I am grateful for the 15 people who were there with me who came ready to share. It was wonderful.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Life Collage
When I was a kid living in my parents' home, I used to collage the walls of my bedroom with things from my life. I guess it started when I was about 13 and I got my own bedroom. I saw how other kids from my school did theirs, usually covered with band posters or some one fad they were felt strongly about, and wanted something like that. I don't know how it started, but I remember the room at it's peak. After my 16th birthday.
I put up cards from friends who had written a page full of heartfelt opinions of me, telling me how nice I was, I had magazine clippings of women I thought were happy or lovely, I had a huge card poster up which my high school boyfriend had made for me, dresses I wished I could figure out how to get for prom, certificates of achievement, all the notes from a heart attack on my lawn, and of course, quotes I picked out of every day life which left me laughing or contemplative. I never did quite get all four walls covered, but it was pretty close. I could have if I just wanted to cover them with SOMETHING, but I wanted things which spoke to me.
When I cleaned out my room to go to college, I tried to get as much as what was on those walls into a scrap book of my life in high school. I did a pretty good job, and the scrap book is amazing, if I do say so myself. In my new college dorm one of the first things I did was buy several posters to put up that would cover that white cinder block expanse. I found some new quotes and pictures to put up, and with moving every year to a new apartment, it was something that helped me feel like a home. When seeing what other kids did in their rooms, I guess I felt like mine looked a little shabby, drab, and colorless. It's too bad. I have never again done anything as amazing as the room where I was a teen, but the attachments I formed there were possibly a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Still, every time I moved, putting up parts of my life on those empty walls was a compulsion which fed me with confidence and drive.
I served a Christian mission for a year and a half, and that was another upheval. I lost most of the posters I really liked to put up, but started to pull more artwork out of magazines and on small prints from stores, I wrote more quotes to put up on the walls. I liked to see the artwork around me. It made me contemplative, as if I was having a conversation with me, feeding some love to myself by looking at things that had spoken to my heart.
When I got married I was just in such a huge shock that I didn't continue habits that had been so natural to me for so long. We've continued the habit of moving every year, in fact, since 2009, I have moved 4 times. I had bigger things to focus on, like decorating every room of our apartments. When we move, much of the color scheme and decoration continues, so the job seems a little bit smaller each time. I never really considered making a place of my own. I didn't have time to contemplate what I wanted like I had before.
Our most recent move took place less than a month ago, and while unpacking a box, I found some of my old moving wall collage. I knew where there was more and decided that it was time to put them up. A few pieces of art from magazines, some prints the size of note cards, and some quotes, including written "I love yous" I'd kept from family members. This is such an important nurture for my identity. While putting it up in different places I felt the echo of love from the past, the richness I felt when looking at that art, shabby as it was. I've painted and drawn before, but these collages are more of a representation of the art I can create than anything else.
I am grateful, but also amazed. I am grateful that I found these. I'm grateful that I have the time to put them up. I am grateful for the memories which fill my heart when I look at them. I am grateful to feel like I know myself a little more. It anchors me. I am grateful for the love I feel for me.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Gardens
I am grateful for gardening. I have this sweet setup with an older couple who also attend my religious congregation. He was born and raised in a farming community, but chose a career in international law and still has a bit of a farm boy in him. Back in the 70s when they bought a house, it came with a full 1.5 acres of land around it. They've since built another 3000 square foot house on that land and use all the rest of it that isn't required for a driveway as a farm-esque garden/orchard. This thing is seriously larger than my 2 bedroom apartment. It has plum, apple, and peach trees, along with raspberry and strawberry vines, corn, tomatoes (hothouse, roma, and cherry), cucumber, broccoli, french style beans, snap peas, basil, cilantro, rosemary, parsley, squash, pumpkin, and zucchini. All in prolithic amounts.
It. is. Awesome.
I got to know them last year when they had a fairly huge crop of plums and brought them to church to share. I asked if I might have some extras and they invited me to come pick for myself. The lady of the house was so open about wishing that her daughters would come and help her pick and distribute the food that I started to come quite often.
This year, they brought me a bag full of zucchini at church to let me know the planting season has begun. As I'm in the job search market, I have some free time to develop other interests, so when I heard the lady say that she had had quite a time weeding earlier in the week, I offered to come and help. It's been two weeks now, and I've thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity. Once a week, I get to go to their place and weed for an hour and then pick for an hour. Raspberries, beans, and lettuce are in season, and the herbs are always growing. I'm excited for the tomatoes to come around. I'm going to make salsa and cowboy caviar and eat those for dinner for a week straight! I am SO excited!
I'm grateful to know this couple, and grateful that they are so open about including me in their circle. I love the excuse to be outside one morning a week, and for the crisp, alive feeling of plants in my hands. I am grateful for the skills I have to manage a garden, to pick weeds and pull fruit off the vine, and grateful for a mother who taught them to me. I'm grateful for a mother who loved growing things. And I am grateful for the healthy food that it provides me at home, much that wouldn't make it into my regular grocery purchases.
It. is. Awesome.
I got to know them last year when they had a fairly huge crop of plums and brought them to church to share. I asked if I might have some extras and they invited me to come pick for myself. The lady of the house was so open about wishing that her daughters would come and help her pick and distribute the food that I started to come quite often.
This year, they brought me a bag full of zucchini at church to let me know the planting season has begun. As I'm in the job search market, I have some free time to develop other interests, so when I heard the lady say that she had had quite a time weeding earlier in the week, I offered to come and help. It's been two weeks now, and I've thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity. Once a week, I get to go to their place and weed for an hour and then pick for an hour. Raspberries, beans, and lettuce are in season, and the herbs are always growing. I'm excited for the tomatoes to come around. I'm going to make salsa and cowboy caviar and eat those for dinner for a week straight! I am SO excited!
I'm grateful to know this couple, and grateful that they are so open about including me in their circle. I love the excuse to be outside one morning a week, and for the crisp, alive feeling of plants in my hands. I am grateful for the skills I have to manage a garden, to pick weeds and pull fruit off the vine, and grateful for a mother who taught them to me. I'm grateful for a mother who loved growing things. And I am grateful for the healthy food that it provides me at home, much that wouldn't make it into my regular grocery purchases.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Summertime
I am glad for how easy it is to be grateful in the summer. It's true! When left to my own devices, I am happier in when it is warm and sunny outside than when it is not. I'll concede that it's not true for everyone, but it is for me. I love the baking heat and a hot wind in my face! It makes me feel like I should go to the beach! Like I have a tan, and should be cocky and strong!
I have found a renewed passion for the entrance of summer the longer I live in a place where it is not always hot. As a teen and young adult, I felt smug in the hugeness of the weather in my home town. Always hot, a cold day could be expected to go no lower than 50 degrees unless there were MAJOR warnings on all media channels and very likely school would be closed. I remember a winter rain when I was in the 7th grade where that happened. If any of you remember El Nino, it was the anomaly that brought down power lines on the way to my Junior High and there was nowhere to keep the kids, so we all just left. Even that rain was nice and warm, even if it was torrential.
I always felt glamorous with my brown skin and swimsuit ready body. There were always events to wear the flashiest clothes to, and behavior was flirtatious and provocative. I was an LA girl and could do anything!
I'm not going to say I am grateful to have left that memory behind. I am SO grateful for that memory. For that girl who could live in that place and have that passion for her life. But I must also be grateful for now.
There was a TV show called Harriet the Spy back in the day, I think it came out in the mid nineties. One scene depicted a little girl softly and sillily mourning for the last day of summer. She danced and sang to it "au reviour!" Goodbye! But knowing that there would be happiness-es coming in the season ahead. I love the clothing I can wear in the summer, the freedom I can feel, and the comfortable, life-giving temperature. But I also feel excitement for the mystery of fall and the coziness of winter. There is more of myself to be found and developed in those seasons too. I like the largeness that I feel in that anticipation. It's almost the same as the strength I feel in being cocky.
I have found a renewed passion for the entrance of summer the longer I live in a place where it is not always hot. As a teen and young adult, I felt smug in the hugeness of the weather in my home town. Always hot, a cold day could be expected to go no lower than 50 degrees unless there were MAJOR warnings on all media channels and very likely school would be closed. I remember a winter rain when I was in the 7th grade where that happened. If any of you remember El Nino, it was the anomaly that brought down power lines on the way to my Junior High and there was nowhere to keep the kids, so we all just left. Even that rain was nice and warm, even if it was torrential.
I always felt glamorous with my brown skin and swimsuit ready body. There were always events to wear the flashiest clothes to, and behavior was flirtatious and provocative. I was an LA girl and could do anything!
I'm not going to say I am grateful to have left that memory behind. I am SO grateful for that memory. For that girl who could live in that place and have that passion for her life. But I must also be grateful for now.
There was a TV show called Harriet the Spy back in the day, I think it came out in the mid nineties. One scene depicted a little girl softly and sillily mourning for the last day of summer. She danced and sang to it "au reviour!" Goodbye! But knowing that there would be happiness-es coming in the season ahead. I love the clothing I can wear in the summer, the freedom I can feel, and the comfortable, life-giving temperature. But I also feel excitement for the mystery of fall and the coziness of winter. There is more of myself to be found and developed in those seasons too. I like the largeness that I feel in that anticipation. It's almost the same as the strength I feel in being cocky.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Awesome jobs out there!
I am glad there are so many fun jobs to apply for! I've been job searching since July 16th. I started by reviewing every job posting currently listed on the DWS website within 30 miles of my zipcode. There are usually about 6,000 to sift through and more get added every day. I usually find about 1 in a hundred that apply to my field, and about half of those are at a pay that I'm willing to apply for. I applied for at least 35 jobs that way. Now that I've gotten up to date on that, and only review about 300 new ones that get posted each day, I've gleaned the state jobs website and am on to nonprofit jobs website. Salt Lake City really is the place to be in Utah for a prolithic amount of jobs in my field. There may be more professionals to compete with in this valley, but I still feel like my odds are better.
The ones I applied for today are: Outreach and Volunteer Projects Coordinator with the United Way, Volunteer Coordinator for a museum called The Leonardo, and a Youth Clinician for the Volunteers of America. With re-writing a cover letter for each applicaton and custom tuning my resume to each position, 2 a day is my goal, and 3 is about all I can handle and believe that I'll be able to keep job searching for the long haul.
When I first started Job Searching, I was worried that I might only find jobs that relate to being a therapist. I'm plenty good at it, but I definitely prefer community work more. That's why I went into the field. There are plenty of Therapist/Counselor/Clinician jobs to apply for, but I've also applied for plenty of community related positions. Over 8 jobs just for this type of Volunteer Coordinator work! I LOVE IT!! I've already been rejected for 3 of the ones I applied for with this title, but that was mostly just because I found them too late, or they had hired in house or something. Compared to others like me, I'm definately a good candidate.
I am grateful for training as an employment counselor to be able to put together informed and confident resumes and cover letters. I am grateful to have two letters of reference on file to be able to attatch to any application which requests them. I am grateful to have had professional connections who will vouch for me in that way. I am grateful for more professional connections I've made in the last year which I can add to that list. I am grateful to be me. It feels confident.
The ones I applied for today are: Outreach and Volunteer Projects Coordinator with the United Way, Volunteer Coordinator for a museum called The Leonardo, and a Youth Clinician for the Volunteers of America. With re-writing a cover letter for each applicaton and custom tuning my resume to each position, 2 a day is my goal, and 3 is about all I can handle and believe that I'll be able to keep job searching for the long haul.
When I first started Job Searching, I was worried that I might only find jobs that relate to being a therapist. I'm plenty good at it, but I definitely prefer community work more. That's why I went into the field. There are plenty of Therapist/Counselor/Clinician jobs to apply for, but I've also applied for plenty of community related positions. Over 8 jobs just for this type of Volunteer Coordinator work! I LOVE IT!! I've already been rejected for 3 of the ones I applied for with this title, but that was mostly just because I found them too late, or they had hired in house or something. Compared to others like me, I'm definately a good candidate.
I am grateful for training as an employment counselor to be able to put together informed and confident resumes and cover letters. I am grateful to have two letters of reference on file to be able to attatch to any application which requests them. I am grateful to have had professional connections who will vouch for me in that way. I am grateful for more professional connections I've made in the last year which I can add to that list. I am grateful to be me. It feels confident.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Thunderstorms
Today I am grateful for a beautiful day outside.
I live in a part of the city with clear skies and a view of the mountians and that is pretty great. Not everyone is so lucky. Even if I don't get to be out on the porch appreciating my view, it is nice to know that it is always there for me. I see out the windows and it's like a shot of sugar right to the mood sensors!
I was able to open the windows to let in some fresh air! I love a hot day, but my husband prefers it to be in the 70s in our apartment when he comes home, so letting the windows open when it's stormy allows fresh air without making the air conditioner run for a few hours straight to make up for it.
I do like thunderstorms in general, and especially thunderstorms in the summertime. There is no foreboding fear letting you know that summer is over when it's an early August rain--I know it will be warm again tomorrow and for a few dozen days after that, so there is nothing to do but enjoy the warm smell of rain in the air, the sound of rain outside your window, and the clear skies after the rain is over. It even improves the view by washing away air pollution.
There's something about thunderstorms. Children's stories often depict rainy days as a sad thing. I guess there's something different between a "rainy day" and a "long thunderstorm" because I've always liked them. There's something exciting about waiting for the surprise crack of lightning and the snap of thunder that does something to warm a primal part of my heart. My mom once took all 6 of us kids for a walk in a warm rainy afternoon like this one. I got to stomp in puddles and come back soaked!
May the temperature be just right to have your windows open, and may all your rainy days have thunderstorms.
I live in a part of the city with clear skies and a view of the mountians and that is pretty great. Not everyone is so lucky. Even if I don't get to be out on the porch appreciating my view, it is nice to know that it is always there for me. I see out the windows and it's like a shot of sugar right to the mood sensors!
I was able to open the windows to let in some fresh air! I love a hot day, but my husband prefers it to be in the 70s in our apartment when he comes home, so letting the windows open when it's stormy allows fresh air without making the air conditioner run for a few hours straight to make up for it.
I do like thunderstorms in general, and especially thunderstorms in the summertime. There is no foreboding fear letting you know that summer is over when it's an early August rain--I know it will be warm again tomorrow and for a few dozen days after that, so there is nothing to do but enjoy the warm smell of rain in the air, the sound of rain outside your window, and the clear skies after the rain is over. It even improves the view by washing away air pollution.
There's something about thunderstorms. Children's stories often depict rainy days as a sad thing. I guess there's something different between a "rainy day" and a "long thunderstorm" because I've always liked them. There's something exciting about waiting for the surprise crack of lightning and the snap of thunder that does something to warm a primal part of my heart. My mom once took all 6 of us kids for a walk in a warm rainy afternoon like this one. I got to stomp in puddles and come back soaked!
May the temperature be just right to have your windows open, and may all your rainy days have thunderstorms.
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